Taking Mirtazapine and Amitriptyline: Sophie's story

I am 19, from the north and have taken Mirtazapine and Amitriptyline.

I was diaganosed in September with severe depression after having a year of panic disorder and not being treated for it, and self harm.

My doctor give me Mirtazapine but never explained what it was or any of the side effects, he just said if you experience any abnormalities get back in touch.

I was given a 3 weeks dosage however it did nothing; as it was not explained that the first 2 weeks could be worse whilst it was adjusting to my body I stopped taking it, and in fact started to self-harm more, and even tried to kill myself with an overdose.

Two years previously I was given Amitriptyline because I was depressed and suffering depression headaches through the last year of compulsary education. I took amitripulene for about a year before my CAMHS mental health nurse took me off them because I wasn't eating.

They then gave me a new tablet but gave them to my mam to give to me, I don't know what they were called.

Amitriptyline took away my headaches and allowed me to think clearly and not worry, it really calmed me down. The only bad thing was it was classed as a high risk and nothing was explained about dangers, so when I overdosed for attention I could have killed myself. I would have liked to have known it was used to treat a mental health condition and not "headches" like I was orginally told.

Mirtazapine nothing was really explained. I would have liked to have known about the 2 weeks period and known about how it could have helped.

On both occasion I would have liked to have been treated like a 16-year-old and 18-year-old, and told lots of information instead of googling NHS medical websites.

The little blue tablet - no one told me the name, I know it was like a sedation as they came out to give me it and it knocked me out that night and I was like a new person the next day.

I wish I knew more and wish there was places to find out about these medication which is why I like the idea of HeadMeds.